MEN AND DOGS
I felt that I might have come to a point where I'd seen most ways of men. (Obviously not, when I'm 40 I'm gonna laugh at my 23 year old self. But still.) Apparently I hadn't. The ways that men attempt to impress never get boring.
When I was out with my sister someone called... well let's call him Sam (not his real name) came up to me and Emma. He grabs Emma's drink (a Margarita in a massive Martini glass), puts on a seductive look and voice, and says to me "now I'll show you what my mouth is capable of." Right, this could be interesting.
Sam seductively leans his face over the drink. Then he starts drinking it like a dog drinks water from a bowl. (Clarification: he's literally behaving like a dog that's just come in from a long walk.) My jaw drops as I stare at the spectacle that never seems to end.
After a while of this visual torture (me thinking of germs, why he looks so much like a dog, is Emma gonna drink her Margarita now with all the bacteria in? That's disgusting!) I realise that Sam is indeed trying to imitate his... eumm... bedroom style. When he looks up at me with a proud look, all I can say is in shock that "wow... do you know that you just looked like a dog?" Sam looks even more proud. "Yeah, because I'm a diiirrrty dooog." I start laughing, waiting for him to laugh himself and say 'heeey, you totally bought it! You really thought I wasn't doing that dog thing on purpose?!' Instead he looks totally happy with himself. He's like, weei, I totally nailed it. Realising that he's gonna keep making it worse, eventually I can't help but saying "well Sam, margaritas don't have olives but if they did you sure as hell wouldn't have found it." Sam didn't understand what I meant, naturally.
Right, so you gals and guys that are more out and about than I've been in the past months- is this dog- drinking thing a one- time thing or is it some kind of new trend? The most mysterious things have the capacity to become trends, like the "guy comes up and licks your face to get your attention"- trend. Also that trend has a strong resemblance to dogs.
The most curious thing is when I see gals validating the dog- behaviour. (I noticed that the drink like a dog- trick in fact got him a girl later on in the evening.) What you see is what you get- if you date a dog you get a dog. Don't we have a certain responsibility as women to demand more to get more? Otherwise we justify the dog- behaviour. Hmm. Just a thought. On a positive note, seeing another guy drink like a dog makes you appreciate your own boyfriend so much more. (Thank you Alex!)
Oh- and a tip for the single boys and girls out there. A simple "Wow, you're gorgeous. Can I buy you a drink? Tell me about yourself!" is often a very effective and unfortunately underestimated tactic.
When I was out with my sister someone called... well let's call him Sam (not his real name) came up to me and Emma. He grabs Emma's drink (a Margarita in a massive Martini glass), puts on a seductive look and voice, and says to me "now I'll show you what my mouth is capable of." Right, this could be interesting.
Sam seductively leans his face over the drink. Then he starts drinking it like a dog drinks water from a bowl. (Clarification: he's literally behaving like a dog that's just come in from a long walk.) My jaw drops as I stare at the spectacle that never seems to end.
After a while of this visual torture (me thinking of germs, why he looks so much like a dog, is Emma gonna drink her Margarita now with all the bacteria in? That's disgusting!) I realise that Sam is indeed trying to imitate his... eumm... bedroom style. When he looks up at me with a proud look, all I can say is in shock that "wow... do you know that you just looked like a dog?" Sam looks even more proud. "Yeah, because I'm a diiirrrty dooog." I start laughing, waiting for him to laugh himself and say 'heeey, you totally bought it! You really thought I wasn't doing that dog thing on purpose?!' Instead he looks totally happy with himself. He's like, weei, I totally nailed it. Realising that he's gonna keep making it worse, eventually I can't help but saying "well Sam, margaritas don't have olives but if they did you sure as hell wouldn't have found it." Sam didn't understand what I meant, naturally.
Right, so you gals and guys that are more out and about than I've been in the past months- is this dog- drinking thing a one- time thing or is it some kind of new trend? The most mysterious things have the capacity to become trends, like the "guy comes up and licks your face to get your attention"- trend. Also that trend has a strong resemblance to dogs.
The most curious thing is when I see gals validating the dog- behaviour. (I noticed that the drink like a dog- trick in fact got him a girl later on in the evening.) What you see is what you get- if you date a dog you get a dog. Don't we have a certain responsibility as women to demand more to get more? Otherwise we justify the dog- behaviour. Hmm. Just a thought. On a positive note, seeing another guy drink like a dog makes you appreciate your own boyfriend so much more. (Thank you Alex!)
Oh- and a tip for the single boys and girls out there. A simple "Wow, you're gorgeous. Can I buy you a drink? Tell me about yourself!" is often a very effective and unfortunately underestimated tactic.
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