MY JEANS PHOBIA
I have a phobia for wearing jeans. (Since they're so tight they're very, eum, unforgiving.) In the past weeks I've decided that it might be convenient to have a pair that I like. I see that other people wear them quite often and that if you're out of outfit ideas they can be pretty convenient. Plus they can look really good on other people!
The last pair of jeans that I really liked I bought about 3,5 years ago at Urban Outfitters. So I went there and asked what size they thought I might be. They said I looked like a size 28.
"Absolutely not. I'd say maybe a 32?"
"I really don't think so."
Triumphant I grab 8 different jeans in size 32. I'll show them that I'm a lot bigger than they think.
Ok. So maybe these are a little too loose. But that's probably just because they're so stretchy.
"Miss, would you like me to get you the 28 now?"
I shh at the girl in the fitting room and whisper "you see, I can't really wear jeans."
"Why?"
"I'm really wide over my hips. That's where most of my fat is. Look!" *Grabs fat*
"Mhm..?"
"So it's probably better if you get me, say, a size 31?"
"But Miss...."
"Go go!"
After three different fitting sessions three days in a row both me and the Urban Outfitters girl give up. It really is just as I thought. My body's unsuitable for jeans.
Back in Grand Rapids me and Alex happen to walk past a shop where all jeans are 50% off. Doesn't hurt to take a look.
"You should try some!"
"I can't wear jeans, I'm too big."
Alex looks confused. "But the skirts you wear are always really tight...?"
*Whisper* "Yeah but they're stretchy so they don't show all the fat!!"
"Eh.. ok."
After grabbing x number of jeans that are about 4 sizes bigger than the shop assistant suggests, Alex makes me try on the suggested smaller size.
"See! You CAN wear jeans."
"Don't I look like one of those big people that pretends that they're skinny? My butt looks like a rectangle! Do I look shorter than usual? Now my butt kind of looks wide. Can I really go outside like this?"
As I see the confusion and exhaustion in my man's eyes I realise that I've sinned. Not only am I dragging him through an endless fitting session, but I'm also doing something I promised I'd never do. I've said "Do these jeans make me look fat?"
So, since I decide that my boyfriend would have no reason to lie (why would he instruct me to buy the jeans if they make my butt look like a rectangle? That's not exactly to his advantage! Plus he grabbed it on one occassion when i walked into the fitting rooms and that must mean that it looks perky...) I decide to buy the jeans. Three pairs in different colours.
And that's how I beat my jeans phobia. Say hello to my new friends: Lola the Jegging (yes I know using "Jeggings" is kind of cheating since they're almost like tights, but just ONE of the pairs is a jegging!), Bayla Skinny Light Blue and Bayla Skinny Dark Blue. Oh and in the end I compromised with a size 29.
The last pair of jeans that I really liked I bought about 3,5 years ago at Urban Outfitters. So I went there and asked what size they thought I might be. They said I looked like a size 28.
"Absolutely not. I'd say maybe a 32?"
"I really don't think so."
Triumphant I grab 8 different jeans in size 32. I'll show them that I'm a lot bigger than they think.
Ok. So maybe these are a little too loose. But that's probably just because they're so stretchy.
"Miss, would you like me to get you the 28 now?"
I shh at the girl in the fitting room and whisper "you see, I can't really wear jeans."
"Why?"
"I'm really wide over my hips. That's where most of my fat is. Look!" *Grabs fat*
"Mhm..?"
"So it's probably better if you get me, say, a size 31?"
"But Miss...."
"Go go!"
After three different fitting sessions three days in a row both me and the Urban Outfitters girl give up. It really is just as I thought. My body's unsuitable for jeans.
Back in Grand Rapids me and Alex happen to walk past a shop where all jeans are 50% off. Doesn't hurt to take a look.
"You should try some!"
"I can't wear jeans, I'm too big."
Alex looks confused. "But the skirts you wear are always really tight...?"
*Whisper* "Yeah but they're stretchy so they don't show all the fat!!"
"Eh.. ok."
After grabbing x number of jeans that are about 4 sizes bigger than the shop assistant suggests, Alex makes me try on the suggested smaller size.
"See! You CAN wear jeans."
"Don't I look like one of those big people that pretends that they're skinny? My butt looks like a rectangle! Do I look shorter than usual? Now my butt kind of looks wide. Can I really go outside like this?"
As I see the confusion and exhaustion in my man's eyes I realise that I've sinned. Not only am I dragging him through an endless fitting session, but I'm also doing something I promised I'd never do. I've said "Do these jeans make me look fat?"
So, since I decide that my boyfriend would have no reason to lie (why would he instruct me to buy the jeans if they make my butt look like a rectangle? That's not exactly to his advantage! Plus he grabbed it on one occassion when i walked into the fitting rooms and that must mean that it looks perky...) I decide to buy the jeans. Three pairs in different colours.
And that's how I beat my jeans phobia. Say hello to my new friends: Lola the Jegging (yes I know using "Jeggings" is kind of cheating since they're almost like tights, but just ONE of the pairs is a jegging!), Bayla Skinny Light Blue and Bayla Skinny Dark Blue. Oh and in the end I compromised with a size 29.
Most common mistake made among women when shopping: the image you have of yourself tends to be a lot bigger than what you are reality, so you buy clothes that are too big- which in turn actually make you look several sizes bigger than you actually are. Therefore, always ask an unbiased source for advice! And here I thought I'd stopped with that foolishness....
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