GRANDMA STRIKES AGAIN
As I have about 1000 things to do I'm trying to multitask as much as possible. So while making a light lunch I thought I'd call grandma to see what she's up to.
- Oh how lovely to hear from you! You guys never have time to call me.
- Grandma I called you two days ago, and you were at mum and dad's yesterday all afternoon?
- Yes but that's only because you HAVE to. I know you don't WANT to. I'm old and boring!
- Fine grandma, what are you up to?
- You know. The usual, I got up at five this morning.
- Why? You're crazy!
- You don't understand how busy I am! Me and the cat just went for a walk. But it's really embarrassing because now you can really see it's a boy, sometimes when he walks you can see his balls! What will the neighbours think??
- Grandma I'm sure that no one cares about Mirre's balls.
- So what are you doing today darling? Those applications again? I cannot understand that you want to continue in education, your mum told me.
- Of course I am, I told you I need to go through these courses!
- But how will you have time?
- What do you mean time? I'll just have to do it!
- Well, I'm just saying... When will you have children? That must be planned into the equation to you know!
- [Trying to chop peppers and hold the phone in- between ear and shoulder while frying onions with the other hand] Grandma children aren't on the agenda at the moment.
- But children always have to be on the agenda!
- Grandma calm down, I'm just saying that first of all I can't just assume that I CAN have children. It would be great having children but there wouldn't be any room for that at least for the next 7 years anyway. Why would I just stop doing what I've always wanted to do in case I might have children in a decade?
- Fine, I'm just saying. The biological clock doesn't care about careers. It just keeps going, and going, and going...
- Well I do grandma! [Can't help to push grandma a little bit...] Maybe I'll just get a surrogate mum or something? That's becoming really trendy in Hollywood at the moment!
- [GASP]
- Ok Grandma calm down I'm just joking. I really need to go now, this food isn't turning out so well...
- That's fine darling, you've never been very practical. I've always wondered how you're gonna be able to run a household, especially when you get children...
- Byyyyye grandma love you!
Result of multitask: Dry omelettes and a stressed out boyfriend who now understands some Swedish and overheard babytalk. Thanks Grandma!
Ps. Emma's dog Nicki just went for a haircut and got a new outfit. It says "Mummy's little tough guy." Oh dear. Is that a fringe I see?
Here's the leather jacket that Emma's friend got him for Christmas...
- Oh how lovely to hear from you! You guys never have time to call me.
- Grandma I called you two days ago, and you were at mum and dad's yesterday all afternoon?
- Yes but that's only because you HAVE to. I know you don't WANT to. I'm old and boring!
- Fine grandma, what are you up to?
- You know. The usual, I got up at five this morning.
- Why? You're crazy!
- You don't understand how busy I am! Me and the cat just went for a walk. But it's really embarrassing because now you can really see it's a boy, sometimes when he walks you can see his balls! What will the neighbours think??
- Grandma I'm sure that no one cares about Mirre's balls.
- So what are you doing today darling? Those applications again? I cannot understand that you want to continue in education, your mum told me.
- Of course I am, I told you I need to go through these courses!
- But how will you have time?
- What do you mean time? I'll just have to do it!
- Well, I'm just saying... When will you have children? That must be planned into the equation to you know!
- [Trying to chop peppers and hold the phone in- between ear and shoulder while frying onions with the other hand] Grandma children aren't on the agenda at the moment.
- But children always have to be on the agenda!
- Grandma calm down, I'm just saying that first of all I can't just assume that I CAN have children. It would be great having children but there wouldn't be any room for that at least for the next 7 years anyway. Why would I just stop doing what I've always wanted to do in case I might have children in a decade?
- Fine, I'm just saying. The biological clock doesn't care about careers. It just keeps going, and going, and going...
- Well I do grandma! [Can't help to push grandma a little bit...] Maybe I'll just get a surrogate mum or something? That's becoming really trendy in Hollywood at the moment!
- [GASP]
- Ok Grandma calm down I'm just joking. I really need to go now, this food isn't turning out so well...
- That's fine darling, you've never been very practical. I've always wondered how you're gonna be able to run a household, especially when you get children...
- Byyyyye grandma love you!
Result of multitask: Dry omelettes and a stressed out boyfriend who now understands some Swedish and overheard babytalk. Thanks Grandma!
Ps. Emma's dog Nicki just went for a haircut and got a new outfit. It says "Mummy's little tough guy." Oh dear. Is that a fringe I see?
Here's the leather jacket that Emma's friend got him for Christmas...
For those of you who haven't encountered Nicki earlier, he's really a boy but Emma's named him Nicki after Nicki Minaj. Before you meet him he's just another dog in outfits who lives in a leopardprint handbag, but after that first meeting you'll be forever "Nickified"; get slightly obsessed with him.
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